The Real Kind of Freedom
Thursday, March 20th, 2008As I was reading one of my favorite blogger’s post, grinning beyond what my mind can contain, the phone rang. I am just a meter far from it so I took the call despite the annoyance of being disturbed. I said hello and I knew that the person on the other line is a guy. I wasn’t really sure if he called for me since my dad’s friends call a lot in our landline, which is something that I somehow can’t explain. I asked my daddy to put the volume of our television to a necessary point. I actually couldn’t really hear the guy on the other line, it was hard to recognize the voice. Gladly, after my dad obeyed his commanding daughter, I finally got to ask who that is.
“Hello again. Yes? What is it again?”
“Hello?”
“Err. Sino po sila?”
“Peter Paul.”
“Huh?”
“Peter Paul!!” (he realised that I couldn’t hear him well)
“Ah.. Oh musta?”
“Okay naman.. Ikaw, musta?”
“I’m doing good” (except when you called)
“Busy ka ba?”
“Ah yea..”
“Ganun ba.. Okay, bye na.”
“Okay! Sige! ‘Til next time!” (grins and about to hung up)
“Busy ka kasi e.” (Buti alam mo. Nagpapaawa ka pa dyan.”
“Bye!”
I didn’t get to hear him say the same word again. After I hung up, I grinned to myself and say, “Finally. SIGH.” For all those who don’t know, Peter Paul is a suitor of mine–since elementary, that is. Many times he asked for my digits, and after, perhaps, a gazillion times, I gave him digits. Not mine, but my father’s. LOL. And I can’t quite comprehend why despite my lack of interest on him, plus my witch-like cruelty, he still kept on bugging me. I’m shaking my head now to put away those disgusting memories. Of him following me around like a psycho, of him telling me jokes that never made me laugh, of my cruelty. Grr. Why have I done these things? I kept on commenting on how love is hating me, how it keeps on failing me. I’ve always thought that it’s irrational (except God’s love). It is stubborn. It melts me in a negative way, like how your sundae melts even before you get to lick it. It never came to my mind that I can contribute to something that I totally hate. But look at me now. I have broken another heart. I have just did something that I know will anger me once it’s done unto me. Probably, no, scratch that. I have honestly been judgemental. I have been the person that I abhor. It’s like a ghost has come to invade my romanticism. My apology reaches to those that I have hurt. To those that I have been irrational of. Sorry.
”If ye do not love, ye are not of God…for God is love.”
“Freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives himself or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.”
“In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.”
“This is the true experience of freedom; having the most important thing in the world without owning it.”
But sorry guys, it’s kinda private yaknow. There are pictures, and names, and other private things. hehe. But wait! I surely can give permission to some that are close to me. So if you feel/think that you’re somehow connecting to me well, message me. I’ll give you a link to that. 
