awkward feeling
I no longer know where I should put myself. I’ve tried to hold back from everything before. But it didn’t seem right as I can see on what turned out. It was plain disaster. I lost relationships because of holding back. So when I realised what truly happened, I tend to follow what my heart wished for. But then again, it’s too much. I didn’t get to handle emotions that they poured out unpleasantly. I became what I really isn’t. If I ever died at those times, I might have been found dead under a mask.
What am I to do?
I’m still lost that I can’t find the area in between loving and holding back.
I want to be placed in between.
I want to be reasonable enough to make me hear him and at the same time hear myself.
