The Heartstrings of an Angel

Years had been wonderful when I was still lurking in your world. I never tried to escape. It just happened that someone’s pulling me on the other side. My hand slipped off yours. And I apologized. I already entrusted you to Abba, and I know He’s sorting things out for you. You may feel hurt these days, but remember, you won’t know what love is until you get pained. I’m praying for you. I always did. Things might not turned out as we wanted them to be. I’ve been a ghost stealing our dreams away from us. But having so much faith in our Father, I’ve let go. Not for the reason of ‘falling out’ of love. (I don’t believe in it anyway.) But because of thinking that there are two people waiting for us. One for you, and another for me. I just you know, wanted to prepare for him and just be the woman God wants me to be. I know you have to do preparations on your own too. Besides, there’s still the possibility (don’t forget) that we might end up to each other’s arms in the end.

Get the picture.

I have this nasty part of me which I want to rip off. It upsets people, and I get hurt when they are. I hate it when she knocks them off with words. Especially when she says stuffs to them which are not supposed to be blurted out of anger. I hate it when she affects relationships. I know she feels sorry about what happened, too. Believe it or not, she didn’t mean to do that. Anyway, it was her fault (in some ways). I hate it too when she speaks behind her emotions. She shows people how happy she is when in fact she’s breaking down inside. I hate it when she doesn’t behave so well that she gets reprimanded by the school or anyone. I hate it that she doesn’t like math as much as she does for english lit. I hate it that she have LOTS of regrets. I hate it too when she thinks about those and the Past. I hate it when she jumps from one clique to another. I hate it when she trusts somebody so much that she forgets to set a barrier for herself. I hate it when she shouts. Yeah. I very much hate it when she fails to give the best advices in the Christian world, for I know she tries so hard to sort out the spoken words. I hate it when she asked ’someone’ to watch 10 Things I Hate About You when she knows she has a lot to hate for. Including the stealing of her heart. Oh..I hate it MORE when she still hopes when there’s actually nothing to hope for, anymore.

This year is the year of open doors. I believe in that. But I want her to close the doors for him.*Sighs*