The Heartstrings of an Angel

tapos na ang one week….i said goodbye a while ago on the cramming sessions i had this week,due to our 2ndmidquarter exam… luckily, i got the chance to focus on almost all subjects! but after class my gratitude ended.

i realized that on the relationship im having with mr.nyaharr isn’t healhy at all. i should’ve known earlier that we need a lot of prayer first before we entered this kind of interaction. we should’ve pass on every step and not leave several steps before reaching the climax.cnt stand any elaboration anymore.m sorry but i cnt continue this..my hands are already trembling and i need the time to be alone.i need to think..!bye

oh-kayyy….yesterday’s been great!! gladys and me are burning both of our phonelines!we had chit-chat which must be called a catch-up for everything we missed in one year! i cant believe we did that creeepy thing to each other!

let’s just say, we’re equally molded but on different ingredients.waaaaay different.she’s my partner in crime, though. we extend ourselves to any adjustments and we loved each other too much! she’s a doll! er, i mean, we’re the most malokong dolls during our elementary years.and yesterday’s chat withher made me feel we’re still the same dolls ever created.

in 6 years studying in Parolang Munti Christian School, we’re always being compared.ALWAYS. we’re both on achieving for the top rank.but we’re so amazed on how people looked at us.we can hear them whiper,"oh diba magka-kompetensya yung dalawang yun?e bakit cla close?" how could they do that? i mean, we NEVER see ouselves as competitors,we look up to each other as the best-est friend ever.

so as we talked yesterday we learned two things:

1. friendships don’t change in such a matter of time.

2. catch-ups to each other’s what’s-been-to is really a cure..

im missing her now…i really do.

there’s this someone whose relationship with me is still undefined.we’re not called as ‘couples’ but we don’t consider ourselves as just ordinary friends.we call the relationship we’re being in  as…………what? i don’t have an idea.i’m still in the middle of a confusing battle between two cocks right in front of me.

last night, i felt like a complete idiot on how  i acted on the phone.here’s what had happened last night:

i expect this man to call me at any hour  since he told me that he will..i gradually did my assignments(talk  about priorities).then as i hear Yael’s serenading  voice as he sing the line "and everytime i see you passing by,i just stand here waiting for you.." blaring on my speakers, someone knocked on my wooden door. it was my brother informing me thsat MR.NYAHARR is on the line.so, i quckly get the cordless one so that i could talk to him on my chilly room to brighten up my mood. i felt so excited, crazy wanting to strike a conversation with the person i always turn to when i don’t think my friends need to have their time on their own. you ee, my presence in school and at home made my day pitiful. for this day i felt sympathetically attached to sadness.

i said my cutest hello hoping th e converstion that we’ll have would turn  a frog into a princess, and both is me. but listening o his voice made me feel like what ive been hoping will just be stored on a bottle and be thrown on the ocean.so long! i consider his lame voice tonight as a bad sign.bad mood.bad luck.

in addition to that he told me that he’s been texting this girl that his cousin introduced to him.what do you think i felt after hearing this boy telling it to me!? JEALOUSY,of course!!jealousy+fear=a bad chat. im scared enough about the situation. i believe that it happened already..

oh-kay,before i entered his life, there’s a great femme who occupied his heart. they both love each other and actually believed that they’re ‘inseperable’.but their relationship is exactly like how our (MR.NYAHARR&me) relationship goes. at the middle of the s.y 2004-2005 MR.NYAHARR’s texting me. i fullyt know that the girl he loves knows it.anyway, i don’t take his texts  seriously.but that was before.he got attracted to me, don’t ask me why. then to make this post short, he fell in love with me. simple as that. and so, he left the adorable girl and replace her with a freak like me. i don’t know what has gotten to his mind when he decided to endure his feelings for me. he left the girl and now sharing this point of his life with me.you see the picture!?or probably the question is: could you picture it!?

look on how it went. the miserable technology made us connected socially and emotionally.but don’t you think it’s possible that that tech. could also be the one to push as away of our so-called ‘undefined relationship’??

i trust him but all i want to show is what i feel:im scared.slash off the jealousy in the scenario.

do you understand me?hope so..